child of chaos (pony and kolath)

"just nightmares just like always. It is nothing new to me." she whispered softly she cuddled up close to him feeling his arms around her was comforting to her. She relaxed once again,"I hope someday I can get rid of these nightmares I hope that destroying the order will let me have that a peaceful nights sleep for once." she said softly looking him in the eyes.

He cuddled her closer kissing her bare shoulder smiling and glad that she was with him. “I hope so too my love. You know I will be by your side from now on to help you however I can.” He gently laid back down drawing her down with him so her head was on his chest. He stroked her hair nuzzling into it softly smiling, “So what is our next move going to be?”

"you really want to know...I think a baby is the next step." she said smiling she blushed slightly and bit her lip she looked over at him a bit nervous about what he might say. She feared he might panic, she looked him in the eyes as she looked a bit nervous looking for some kind of approval. She gently stroked his chest feeling so strange inside she had been this cold hard icicle when he first met her now she felt so weak so delicate like she couldn't be alone anymore.

He nuzzled against her as she started speaking pausing for only a moment when she mentioned a baby. He leaned back, his hand slipping under her chin lifting it to look down into her eyes, his eyes brimming with tears. “Really?” He leaned down touching his forehead to hers kissing her lips lightly, “Are you really wanting to have a child with me?”

"I wasn't sure if I wanted that yet but after you came here for me. You used my clues to find me. The way you said you would help me in this deadly quest I knew that I needed to. A child made between us would be a leader one with will and justice, one of emotional strength one that could truly help people and a physical ability to back up those traits. " she said softly "a child bore by us would be great and would keep what we have discovered alive so that another group like the order can never come to power."

He smiled kissing her deeply smiling his hands rubbing her sides and gently pulling her close so she was sitting in his lap. His lips kissed her neck as he whispered, “That child would be the one this world needs to make it safe for all those here.” He laid back looking up at her where he had left her sitting in his lap. “I love you Anona and I would be honored to give you children.”

"you should have already after last night." she said softly she looked at him nervously "I'm actually afraid for once in my life I fear for us and the child that will come of us what if none of our plan work out what if we are killed the order will win if they get my offspring we will fail if that happens. I fear for ourr lives especially yours I drug you into this I opened your eyes you would have at least lived if I hadn't but I did. why did I kiss you that night I do not know."

He cuddled her close kissing her hair softly stroking it to calm her a little. He nuzzled against her ear softly whispering. “I will protect you and our child all that matters now is both of your safeties.” Pulling back he looked into her eyes love and caring over flowing out toward her. “I love you Anona and the Order will never harm our child or you.”

"but they will I know it. this will never end I am sure of that. All I ever wanted was to explore and to have a family but unlike most I have to fight and kill for those things. It's not fair" she said softly. she cuddled up with him "perhaps I should have continued to hide myself from you" she said softly. "I shouldn't have let you in. you were happy and safe when I met you."

He shook his head suddenly pulling her closer and kissing her lips deeply. It was a deep passionate and lusty kiss with all the emotions he felt for her poured into it. Finally he pulled back pressing his forehead to hers. “Don’t ever thing I am not happy Anona, my love. I was blind and dumb back then now I can see and I can’t stand by the side and not do something.” His hand stroked her cheek as he pressed close to her…”I would never wish anything to have happened any differently than it has my love.”

She closed her eyes lifting her hands resting them on the sides of his face holding him close to her "I don't know what is wrong with me I was so used to having nothing left to lose and you changed that now I feel trapped again just like before I fear everythign again I feel weaker. I feel like my world is about to fall apart and there is nothing I can do about it." she said getting up. She pulled on a top and a pair of cropped breeches she left the bedroom going to another room she grabbed a strip of leather she'd attached ot the ceiling started slowly lifting herself up then back down repeating this motion over and over again .

He lay there letting her go knowing she was struggling feeling weak that she suddenly was having feelings again. He pulled on his breeches and followed her after a few moments and just stood there watching her lift herself up constantly. He knew what she was doing and he soon walked over behind her his hands gently brushing over her sides softly. “Anona…I know its hard…I feel horridly weak because I know I wouldn’t survive if something happened to you…but I’m not going to let anything happen to you ever…please don’t shut me out again just because you feel it makes you stronger let me fill the gap that weakness makes so together we are stronger.”

She shook her head and continued her work out she switched arms working on the other for a bit she had a lot of work to do "you don't even hardly know me you have not even seen a full shift only one person ever has." she said simply she did not look at him and just kept trying to make herself stronger she could never be strong enough and she knew it. Soon she lifted her legs up slipping them into the straps and started lifting her body up doign a strange kind of crunch.

He shook his head watching her as she worked out, “I don’t care that I haven’t seen you shift fully…or that we have known each other for less than two weeks.” His hand reached out to stop her when she was down from one of her crunches. “I love you Anona that is all I ever need to know about you nothing else matters to me…not what you are, not what you have done, I love you and that is all of you no matter what.” He leaned closer his lips moving toward hers.

"stop!" she said pushing him away. she got down and moved from the room back to the pool of water she slipped in silently she pulled off her clothes and threw them at him she was trying to go back to her instincts to protect herself she could not help it. It would take more than he knew to get through this it would take a lot of time. She had to shut him out she had no choice right now she dove under water and just sat on the bottom.

He looked down at her in the water sighing. He just slipped into the water after stripping himself and just sat there on the edge waiting for her. he knew she had a lot to come to grips with but he hoped she would be able to sooner rather than later because he needed her…her strength, her love most of all. “I love you Anona” he whispered still just waiting.

She looked over at him "you shouldn't I do not have the right to feel love or at least that is what I've been shown anytime I do I lose that person." she said softly "You should leave me you deserve so much better" she whispered she had come up only long enough to speak then went back down she wanted all the pain of the past to go away but it wouldn't she couldn't shut it away if she felt for him or she would lose all feeling again. She let her mind wander that only made if worse.

He finally took off his own clothes and followed her into the water. He swam down deep with her finally sitting behind her cuddling her close both naked but just wanting to hold her. his mind reached out wishing they could still talk, ‘I love you Anona even if don’t think you should be loved, there I nothing you can do to make me go away I will stay by your side no matter what.’ He wasn’t holding her so tight that she was being forced to stay there but he was holding her tight enough to establish possession.

She pushed him away and surfaced, she pulled herself out of the water and just laid there on the floor she pulled her legs in close to her. She shook her head, her vision was spinning they were close, the order was close she could feel it. She focused her energy to keep them confused she closed ehr eyes tightly a tree grew on top of the entrance to the cave. She then slowly opened her eyes she had been forced to be more careful if they had found the entrance they would both die and she knew it.

He followed her up looking at her wondering what was up. It was then that he noticed the look of concentration on her face and knew something was wrong. He slipped out of the water and came over next to her his hand brushing her hair. “What’s wrong Anona? My love please I can help don’t lock me out you have been doing this so long on your own let me help you bare the burden.”

She rolled over on her side panting heavily she looked up at him her skin was even paler than normal now "they were close but I sealed the entrance so they can not enter nor will they find it ever. we have no choice but to stay here for a while." she passed out for a bit her eyes closed part way "he was here..." she mumbled. she quivered slightly she was not sure she oculd explain anythign right now.

As she just passed out he held her gently stroking her hair letting her rest. Slipping his hands under her body he lifted her up and carried her over to the bed laying her down gently stroking her hair back. He pulled on his pants and started working on different things to remain busy. He slipped down the hole slowly and carefully to see that it was completely blocked and had nothing to worry about there,, but he still kept his sword and bow close at hand as he worked on food and cleaning.

She squirmed in her sleep she remembered how she had once thought the first person she ever got truly close to had been killed. She had seen him dead in their room then why did she feel him there and one day she saw him again but they were on apposing sides now. He lead the order, he had become her enemy. She mumbled n her slumber "it was him...he was here...he hunts me" she tossed in her sleep until she fell still and silent.

He finished up many things that needed done around the cave. He finally settled down watching her toss and turn for a while and finally not able to bare it he slipped into bed with her holding her as she settled down and just let her sleep not falling back to sleep himself just letting her rest and gather her strength drawing what she needed from his closeness. He wouldn’t ever leave her that was one thing he promised himself as he held her never would he let her be alone again.

She sat up slowly she moved away going over to the corner, she dropped to her knees her eyes were closed tightly she hunched forward, she shoulder blades twisted slightly suddenly these strange black growths split the skin and emerged laying flat down her back. Her ears became more pointed, her canines extended slightly, her nails grew and began to harden. She soon opened her eyes they were black with an orange glow coming from the edges. She sat there panting heavily. Her skin grew slowly paler as she sat there her shift was complete. She just stayed htere for a moment longer she slammed her fist into the wall of the cave out of anger.