the hatred of love (pony and raven)

"Al...right." He forced out of his mouth. He knew for a fact he hurt her, his heart practically shattered in his chest. He didn't know what to say or do, everything just left him. All he could do was lay there and worry about what he did wrong. He stared at the ceiling until his vision blurred and he was forced to blink, but even after that his eyes never left that spot.

Once she had showered she came out of the bathroom with just the towel on half expecting him to be gone and the other half expecting him to come up behind her when she went to the walk in closet to get her night gown. She sighed walking into the closet not even checking to see if he was still there or not. Yes she was hurting it wasn't all his fault part of it yes but not all of it.

He continued to look up at the ceiling like a lifeless drone. He was in so much pain that he knew he hurt her. His heart was numb like he should be shot and his life ended with how badly he hurt her. "Why, why do I say the wrong things?" He voiced to himself not knowing she was out of the shower yet.

Alex sighed leaning her head against the wall "Kole... come here we need to talk" she said softly slowly going over sitting on the edge of the bed. "I need to tell you something." she said softly, she hoped he wouldn't be upset with her.

He sat up and scooted closer to her taking her hand in his. He kissed it holding it tightly but not enough to her. "I'm sorry." He said softly the pain clearly in his voice. "I didn't mean.... I really do love you Alex." He was clearly terrible with explanations, and they normally backfired for him.

"it bothers me so much only because I knew her I knew about you two I know about everything that happened. it hurts because I know I can never even come close to what she was or even be worth comparing to her. And I know you could never care for me as much you did her. I knew her I was one of her friends." she said softly "It was killign me also the fact that I was afraid that if I told you, you would leave me" she said softly he could see that all this was true if he jsut looked her in the eyes "I love you and I know how hard it is for you, I love you so much and I am so afraid that I'm going to lose you."

He wrapped both his arms around her tightly. "Yes I loved Lynn, yes I still do. I don't compare you to her at all because it isn't fair. Your both the same I love you both equally. I know I'm stupid for thinking about her. I just want to keep my memories of her, they're all I have left of her. I can't see her family, the only thing I got for loving her was a restraining order." He kissed her lips not expecting one back. "And I'd do it again. I would go through all that heartache all over again. I love you and I'd rather love you and be with you then leave you just because you knew the first woman I fell in love with." He was trying to fight back the tears the thought of losing her too was too much. "I love you and I don't want to lose you at all, and especially not in the same way I lost lynn. I couldn't live with that again."

Alex turned around facinf him tears rolling down her cheeks she leaned into him kissing him deeply and lovingly "I love you more than you will ever know more than I could tell you, more than I could ever show you. I won't leave you, you won't lose me you'll have to beat me away with a stick to get rid of me." she said softly. she kissed him even more deeply and loving ly now letting her eyes fell closed she never wanted to be away from him.

Kole continued to hold her close as she cried on his shoulder. He kissed her back every time she placed her lips to his. "I love you so much Alex. I can't live without you. Without you I probably would have killed myself." His lips drew a line of kisses around her neck. "I owe you my life and the rest of it is yours to do as you see fit my love."

"I hope we can spend the rest of our lives together even if its jsut the two of us I wouldn't care as long as I have you with me" she said softly she leaned into him more she pushed him back on the bed and curled up laying her head on his chest nuzzlign against him with her cheek she felt so safe with him and so much comfort with him.

He rubbed her back kissing her forehead. "I love you Alex." he said his hand ran up her arm. there was a knock on the small house door. "Hang on baby." He said softly getting up. He checked his pants making sure they were still on. He slowly walked to the door. His right hands opened it make sure not to hit his left. "Yes?" He asked answering the door his face meeting two faces he hadn't seen in a good while. Who ever these people were they were at Lynn's funeral.

Alex walked over to the door "hey mom hey dad what are you guys doing here?" she asked walking out hugging them. "this is my boyfriend Kole, she wasn't sure she was ready for him to find all this out but he would learn eventually. Her parents were just standing there glaring at him not saying anything yet. "come on in." Alex said softly. they walked in slowly.

The glares brought back a lot of the memories of that day. He could feel the knives they held in their eyes. He sat on the couch shutting his mouth. "We've me but it was ever so briefly." He said softly looking down at the ground. He could feel their eyes darting back and forth between him and Alex. "Not anything I want to talk about." Kole was positive that even though he didn't want to talk about it her father would.

Alex looked to her mother for some kind of support but found none "why can't you jsut be nice to him? what did he ever do to you? Besides he makes me happy can't you at least act like you are happy for me." Alex said softly her mother said nothign but just looked ot her father for his input on the matter.

"Do you not remember what he did?!" Her father yelled. "He killed your cousin! He gave her hopes and dream but didn't nothing but take her education and her life. If she wasn't with him that night she wouldn't have been hit by that drunk. Damn that devil Damn him back to hell!" Kole clenched his fist in a sweep of anger then suddenly it went away. A sigh left his lips as her father continued ranting and spewing curses.

Alex placed herself between Kole and her father "all he ever did was love her and care about her deeply you don't even know him and now he loves me and I love him. If you love me then you will respect him and treat him like I wish you would. because you know as well as I do that it is no ones fault that she is dead but that drunk drivers you are jsut looking for a place to set the blame you do this jsut to hurt him and even you raised me to be better than that. Now if you love me you will accept him as he is or I will have to ask you to never come here again until you can. I love him and nothing you say or do will change that." she said reachign down taking Kole's hand in hers.

Kole's ears picked up the part about her cousin, she had hidden that fact. Maybe it hurt her even more to think about it being they were family, that he had moved from one to another. His heart leapt as she stood up for him, Lynn had tried but it had only put her into tears. He seen that her father was going to yell at her just by the look on his face, as though he was going to raise his hand to her. He stood holding himself up strongly. "You even think about laying a hand on her and I'll end you where you stand." He glared over at her mother. "And you miss I'm to good to talk. I hear the thought in your head I hear them Clear as day. 'He should have been the one killed not her, he a good for nothing not even fit to look at my daughter.' Shut up I don't need to hear your rusted wheel turning." he spoke bluntly.

"you liked every other I've introduced you to and you loved them so much and you know what he treats me a hundred times better than them they all treated me like shit like I was nothing more than dirt. They never cared about me the way he does and if you can't see through your own bitterness then I am ashamed to call you my parents because I know my parents taught me to act and treat people better than this. " she said softly "and what you are doing is wrong" she said coldly she looked her parents firmly. "He is a good man and if you two can't see that then you are both blind. Because I've been seeing it every day for the past few months" she said softly.

Kole walked over to Alex and stood in front of her. You want to hit someone then hit me I frankly don't give a shit but you so much as lay a hand on her and it'll be your funeral I next attend."He wrapped his arms around Alex without so much as looking away from her dad. He held her close letting her know that she was safe. "I love Alex and if you don't like it fgo fuck yourself."

Alex hugged him back closing her eyes a bit nuzzling into him a bit it hurt her havign to stand up to her parents like this but it needed to be done. She opened her eyes again to see her parents walkign to the door she had just denounced her parents for him this showed just how much she loved him. once they were out the door she instantly started crying into his chest.

Kole held her close rubbing her back. She forced them out the door for him, she really did love him. That was something he doubted even Lynn would do. "I'm sorry my love." She was forced to pick between them and had chosen him, something she shouldn't have done. He loved her but her parents birthed her, all he could do was stand there.

"don't appologise they deserved what they got. You don't deserve to be treated that way and this way they will realize I won't back down they will come around but you are worth it to me. They never made me feel as happy as I do when I'm with you" she said softly looking deep into his eyes she moved in closer to him resting her forehead against his chest that had been hard for her .

He held her close. "I know I don't have to but seeing you like this I can't help but feel like it's my fault." he kissed the top of her head and rubbed her back. "Maybe I can do something to make it up to you Alex." He said softly swaying a bit. "I have something in the bag on the table. I was going to wait a few more days, but I think you need it now."

"what did I tell you about spoiling me? I don't need that I just need you to make me feel better" she said looking up at him and smiled. She looked deep into his eyes she felt so happy just standing here with him. She was curious though what he had gotten "you know I love you right?" she said softly lookign up at him sweetly.

"I know I don't have to spoil you, but this is different." He pulled away and walked over to the coffee table pulling out a small box but keeping it concealed. "I want you to know how much I love you, and theres only one true way to do that." Kole knelt in front of her and kissed her hands. His hand opened the box revealing a silver ring with a small diamond in it. "Alex, with everything we've been through and what you just did for me. I would be honored if you became my wife, will you marry me?" His eyes never looked down as his right hand held her left awaiting her answer.